Friday, June 9, 2017

I renamed this blog.

This used to be called "the insiders guide to how things are" and I realized that in a very limited scope this was a good an accurate title. I am pleased however today to announce that I have expanded my view and am no longer all that interested in my own opinions.  

I am very pleased to announce that to capture the big picture I have plagiarized the work of my hero Douglass Addams and just renamed this: The blog at the end of the Universe, in honor of his great hitchhikers book: The Restaurant at the end of the Universe.  those of you who are familiar with Addams work will get this, those who are not, probably won't. Let's all enjoy the ride as I am off in a totally new direction of appreciation, recognition and gratitude.

Time to take a big picture view and not get so hung up on the actions of small minds in big jobs, politicians or anything else that has not evolved since the dinosaurs.  My new blog will feature inspirational quotes, predictions for the future of garbage eating bacteria and why my truck is going to come out on top of any accident between it and an autonomous electric vehicle, Otherwise known as a Johnny Cab, if you are a fan of Arnold and Total Recall.

I am going to ask you to support causes and think about things that cause ill in our society. We are blessed in North America to live in palaces, drive huge machines and make more money in a week than many in other places do all year.

I think there is no excuse for homelessness or untreated mental illness in this country. Every person has potential and those of us, who have done so well being self centered and narcissistic need to realize our fortunes can be fleeting and it is impossible to give away more of anything than you get back.

I have had a phenomenal life, of self importance and instant gratification, my goal now is not to criticize anyone for how they are, because I do not know their story.

Feel blessed, because you are.

Tuesday, June 6, 2017

Falling off the pedestal I made for myself might be the best thing that ever happened

We all do it I think, place ourselves on pedestals where our issues are so unique or special that there cannot possibly be anyone who has a similar fate. We place ourselves on pedestals  and just enjoy the view of the misery.  I've had a lot of self inflicted grief in my life, so unique I thought, so special, until I met some people with exactly the same life experiences and I realized that my pedestal was a more prison than monument.

Last week was awful, worse in a long time and so unique, or so I thought.  But then I met a group of people who were experts in having awful weeks and I realized that, in comparison, which one should never do, my awful was kind of tame, or so it made me feel. 

It has caused me to look at people in a whole new light: We see the Facebook clichés that say things like "don't judge because everyone has their own struggles" and such, and like most people I took it not to heart at all.  I have grown an appreciation for people, the drunk who is begging for money at a stop light is not, likely performing his life's work. He did not wake up one day and say "I should drink Listerine and beg for loonies". His addiction is not his alone, it belongs to us all because  we are all people.

Some of us are luckier than others, we have nice homes, nice cars and good jobs. We don't think about where to sleep or how to steal food from a dumpster. We have our shite together and that is mostly good luck with a mix of planning.

Many people don't know how to plan, or foresee the consequences of behaviour, they never learned. They get themselves in shitty situations that everyone else could foresee  I am a sudden big proponent of dignity, that each person deserves to be treated as we, ourselves, would like to be treated.  That our luck, or planning or upbringing should not isolate us from those who are not so fortunate

Saturday, June 3, 2017

The more I mind my own business, the better it is for me.

Leading researchers have concluded that minding your own business is the key to happiness.

I cannot count the number of times I was annoyed, surprised or stressed by information, that would have on close examination been determined to be none of my business.  Which poses two questions:

1) Why do I react if it's none of my business? 

2) Why don't I say it's none of my business?

This is kind of my new strategy for life answering these questions. We all know the scenario. The drama starts and we get involved, either because we are told something or because we think some injustice might have been done so we help. The first rule of a good narcissist is to not take responsibility for anything, and by involving me in some drama of some sort, and I responding, I am giving control to the narcissist. I give the bastard an out. I give him, or her a way to keep themselves being the center of attention a little longer. My new adage is "not my circus, not my monkeys"

We don't say  things like "If it don't have my name on it, it's not my mail" very often because as good people we don't want to offend the other one. We are helpers by nature and design, our lives are typically fuller when dedicated to service of others. So we help and saying no is not a natural reaction as it is counter intuitive.  It takes will power to say "not my circus, not my monkeys" The narcissist will think you are trying to withhold something and they will try harder to get it. Until they give up, and if you   capitulate, they win. And they love to win.

So, "not my circus, not my monkeys" is a very useful tool for cutting the legs out from under potentially dramatic situations. My new goal is to  just sit back and wonder how naïve some people can be. Including some stories people tell themselves that could be  on an episode of Family Guy. 

So rather than spend my days trying to protect stupid people from themselves, and as a result encouraging more stupid people to try and book appointments, I have decided to mind my own business.

You have three choices for my involvement in your drama:
1) You can take my advice and I will back you 100%.
2) You can tell me what you are going to do, then do and I will back you 100%.
3) If you say you are going to take my advice, or don't bother to do what you said you were going to do and come running to me when it goes to shite. My answer to you will be: "Not my circus, not my monkeys"

If experience is any sort of teacher, my work with some people just got a whole lot easier.